William H. Macy and i

i like to talk in the voice of my cats. sometimes the cats might point out the inherent ridiculousness in a course of action or a comment made by either myself or frances. they are often the voice of reason – however, though i have had the honor of sharing my life with numerous cats, they all have the same voice. they all seem to sound like a discount version of South Park’s Cartman. the cats sometimes even comment on the lack of differences in their voices. they are not pleased.

so, obviously, a job as a ventriloquist is out of the question. however, there are times when a new voice is needed…

last night, one of those times came in the form of a reading at a Performance Slam at the ONE Arts Center. the story i chose to read is entitled “William H. Macy” and has a long section that is an imagined Mamet-inspired exchange between me and the titular character. this dialogue (with interruptions) spans three pages. how would i read this with just one person reading? especially with one person who is terrible at doing voices??

and then it hit me – William H. Macy would have to participate in the reading. unfortunately, i seem to be lacking William H. Macy’s contact information. so i came up with the next best thing: a sock puppet of William H. Macy. now, as you will see below, i am dedicated to quality. this is a pretty great sock puppet. so great that you might have trouble figuring out which of the two pictures contains the real William H. Macy.

Hint: the sock puppet is on the right!

Hint: the sock puppet is in the picture that i am also in!

to see William H. Sock Puppet in action, see below. i think the William H. Sock Puppet will do until William H. Macy records his part for me. you’ve got my digits, William H.

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